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History of the Sexy Chicken
'''The '''wars of the Sexy Chickens, Nuclear Potatoes, and Mutated frogs In World War II, the mushrooms, chickens and frogs were arch enemies, fighting many great battles for the eastern front, known now as Japan, land of the Great Dorito. For years, the eastern front was in control of the mushrooms, who spilt orange juice into ocean and killed the fishes of Old Seaweed Town (Formerly Ye Olde Town of the Seaweedeth). Seaweed had been in the Tabaco business with the fishes for centuries, but sea mushrooms released poisonous booze, wiping out the seaweeds and replacing them with drunk pigs. The last hold of seaweed is in okikakinawa, where the fishes have used the weed of the sea to create coral fortresses capable of deterring the booze, orange juice and drunk pigs. The Mushrooms also extended their reaches into frog territory (South East Asia) creating frog mutations along the way, including the famous, Frogzilla. Donald trumps created the sexy chickens during 1939, when experimenting with nuclear weapons to use against the "beast of the east". The beast of the east was the largest of the giant radioactive mushrooms, that grew in an unstable nuclear power plant in Japan, that was powered by chicken fat. It absorbed the great Dorito, the eastern relic, and used its power to grow into the all-powerful "Mush-Dorito". The nuclear mushrooms were not affected by the nukes usually used to combat giant mushrooms. So Donald Trump merged with a chicken to become lord of the chickens. He then commanded an army of 3 thousand sexy chickens to attack eastern front. The chickens were shot from missile launchers along the western front to battle. They revealed their secret weapon, inedible feet, and fell from the sky all at once, diving onto the mushrooms. The mushrooms tried to eat the chicken feet but they died because the chickens feet tastes like lasagne. However powerful the sexy chickens, they were not enough to overcome the giant nuclear mushrooms and their armies of drunk pigs. The mushrooms shot other mushrooms and explosive spores(mushroom sperm) from their mouth at the chickens, who`s lasagne fire was out of range. The Lasagne then evolved (within 15 seconds) and learnt how to fly. They bombarded the chickens with beef in the mouth. Approaching from the west came the frogs. The largest frog, Frogzilla, released all his baby frogs over the land, coating the mushrooms. Many frogs were killed by the alcohol secreted by the mush rooms, but some got close enough to topple the fungi. Donald Trump's greatest weapon, Mega Sexy Chicken, a giant chicken with the ability to summon Lasagne from the sky, smashed into the beast in the east, pummelling him into the ground. But the Beast, who his friends called Tatchanka, used the power of the great Dorito inside him, to create a giant Dorito sword and stab the mega chicken in the chest. The mega chicken fell to the ground, defeated. Using his many spongy arms, Tatchanka raised his Dorito sword, that was glowing with the power of the great Dorito, to end the chicken. Frogzilla arrived at the scene and using his tongue that tastes like ham, stole the Dorito sword. He then attacked the Mush-Dorito slicing open his flesh. The drunk pigs tried to stop him, but they died of alcohol consumption. So the Mush-Dorito summoned two giant Doritos to protect him. Frogzilla tried to fight them, but they cut of his arms and legs using dead dolphins. And then, the mush-Dorito summoned from space the doritans, a race of space doritos with the power to eat hamburgers. Quadrillions of doritans flooded space, racing towards earth. All beings, the mega sexy chicken, frogzilla, Inedible tuna, dirt potato and potato cod, looked to the darkening sky. This would be the end of the race of cows, they all thought. The earth was destined to never eat lasagne again. Then all the Doritans burned up in atmosphere. Frogzilla grew back all his arms and legs, then ate the two giant doritos. He did not see the sexy chicken rise, regurgitate a sword of lasagne and decapitate him. Determined to destroy the chicken, Mush-Dorito used the power of the great dorito to send a spike of pure dorito at the sexy chickens heart. Before the spike hit, the Mega Sexy Chicken summoned a great lasagne from the sky. The dorito spear penetrated the chickens heart, ending his life. But then a giant lasagne, the size of the mush-dorito, ate Tatchanka, did the chicken dance and went skydiving before going to Hiroshima for a vacation. The great dorito inside him then exploded, wiping out the whole of Japan. Some of the Great mushrooms spores/sperm, landed in North Korea, impregnating an ugly mushroom, that later gave birth to Kim Jong Ung. '''Kim '''Jong Un is Tatchanka the II King Jong Ung was the child of the "Beast of the east". The great Tatchanka shot his floating mushroom sperm everywhere when he exploded, and some made it to North Korea. An obese mushroom there got fucked, and then even more fucked when she found she was pregnant with the son of the greatest mushroom ever to live. One day, Kim Jong Un (meaning Mushroom Fucker in North Korean) shot through the head of the mushroom is a glorious leap, sending nuclear missiles all over the world, to show the mushrooms he was a beast leader. Unfortunately his mother did not survive his birth, and exploded. Mushrooms flocked to the new mushroom capital of the world, and then got sick from the lack of hygiene and died from fungal diseases and radioactive exposure. But they came back to life in the form of nuclear mushrooms, who could command cows to do their will. The cows evolved into nuclear killing machines, and were launched at the frogs capital, china town. The frogs could not take the power cows and were destroyed, then enslaved. Kim Jong Un merged with the King of the frogs,(who didn`t even have nuclear properties at the time), to become the lord of the Mushrooms and Frogs. Only the sexy chickens, birds, potatoes, fishes, were left to be conquered. The tundra birds of the northern front remained in guard of the northern relic, the great leaf of myth.